It matters not that they were created from the ashes on the 16th of April 1894, or that they were in fact around as early as 1880 in some form or another (not that the media of the day could remember what the club was called) – or indeed earlier if we include cricket, but that isn’t a real sport so we can ignore that bit. Neither does it matter that they were the first club in Manchester to get their grubby hands on a major piece of silverware, or be legally (yes, legally) the ‘official football team of Manchester’ as stated by the Football Association. Manchester City, evidently, have no history.

That phrase has been bandied about for quite some time. Well, since 1992 that is, as that was the year, as we all know, that football in England was invented, and seeing as though City dropped into the third tier of English football during the 1990s, it must be true.

So no history. None. Whatsoever. Really?

Did you know Pope John-Paul II was a follower?
Was Anna Connell really a pain in the arse?
If Billie Gillespie is the FA’s 2nd most wanted man, who is #1?
Why should the City board of directors have kept up-to-date with the goings on of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria?
Plastic bananas? Pah! I’ve got a dead chicken.
Who was almost stripped naked and forced to pull a #168 bus down the road by way of their own testicles?
Billy, or Billie?
Who was going down faster? City or a two-bit hooker?
Why Manchester City needed another World War.
And how they almost started World War III.
What is the George Town derby?
Who was Manchester City’s 472nd manager?
Who supports 艾 ?
Who was the Maltese Falcon?
Was Abe Lincoln a Manchester City fan?
Just how many Big Macs can ADUG afford to buy?

And it doesn’t stop there. Oh, no Sir (and ma’am), it does not. Major players from every decade, prominent managers, the grounds the club called home, conspiracies, English wars, fans' thoughts, and … umm … threats to Bovril consumption.

With, Manchester City: The Secret History Of A Club That Has No History you can go on the roller-coaster ride that fans of the club have gone through for over 130 years. Find out when ‘Typical City’ actually became a thing and how Manchester City have continually tried to buy their way out of trouble (and usually failed). Discover the first goalkeeper to ever score a goal, and the league’s very first none-British player who played for the Blues. Read about City’s chairman, Frank Johnson, and his attempts to dissolve the club and remove it from existence, and that Manchester City came to the rescue of Manchester United on more than one occasion.

This book was born from an official season long blog for Manchester City FC in 2013-14, and the club was happy to laugh at itself, as their fans have done so for decades (and let’s face it, still do). And whilst it is not an all encompassing tome covering everything in minute detail it is a history book that covers all the major happenings at the club and then goes on to attempt to predict the future.

Manchester City: The Secret History Of A Club That Has No History is now available here, elsewhere and possibly somewhere else.